Somewhere I Belong
by DarkStarDrusilla
Summary: Buffy comes back to life after Willow's spell and is wandering the streets of Sunnydale.....Spuffy. songfic. "Somewhere I Belong" by Linkin Park. please R&R!


**A/N: this is a total Spuffy. songfic. song is "Somewhere I Belong" by Linkin Park. it takes place after Buffy comes back to life and is wandering the streets of Sunnydale. hope you like. please R&R!**

**Somewhere I Belong**

_When this began_

_I had nothing to say_

_And I get lost in the nothingness inside of me_

Buffy wandered through the blurry, loud streets of Sunnydale. Where was she? Why is this world so cold and hard? Where is my mother?

_I was confused_

_And I let it all find/that I'm_

_Not the only person with these things in mind_

Why am I here? Did I do something wrong that I was pulled out of my paradise?

_Inside of me_

_But all the vacancy the words revealed _

_Is the only real thing I've got left to feel_

How did I get here? Why is this place so loud? What is that noise?

_Nothing to lose_

_Just stuck/ hollow and alone_

_And the fault is my own_

_And the fault is my own_

A low rumble steadily approached her, sounding like thunder in her ears.

_I want to heal_

_I want to feel_

_What I thought was never real _

_I want to let go of the pain I've held so long_

_(Erase all the pain 'til it's gone)_

Suddenly a black bike came roaring up to her at, at least, 80 mph. she, unused to her reflexes, just stood there with it bearing down on her.

_I want to heal_

_I want to feel_

_Like I'm close to something real_

_I want to find something I've wanted all along_

_Somewhere I belong_

The bike swerved to avoid her and, dirt and pebbles flying, stopped in front of her. A familiar looking white blonde-haired man in black clothes stepped off and looked at her as if he had seen a ghost.

_And I've got nothing to say_

_I can't believe I didn't fall right down on my face_

_I was confused_

_Looking everywhere/ only to find that it's_

_Not the way I had imagined it all in my mind_

He just stood there, gawking at her. He finally spoke, "Buffy?"

'Buffy?' Who or what was a 'Buffy? Then it slowly started to come back to her, floods of memories of her and this man. What was his name? She tried to remember. She said the first thing that came to her mind, "Spike?"

_So what am I _

_What do I have but negativity_

'_Cause I can't justify the_

_Way everyone is looking at me_

He jumped off the big black thing, whatever it was, and ran over to her. He grabbed her and hugged her like he was never letting go, repeating her name over and over.

_Nothing to lose_

_Nothing to gain/ hollow and alone_

_And the fault is my own_

_And the fault is my own_

She was taken aback by his forwardness. All of her memories of this man, Spike, showed that they fought and were bitter enemies, so why was he clutching her like she meant the world to him? Why did he act like they were the best of friends?

_I want to heal_

_I want to feel_

_What I thought was never real_

_I want to let go of the pain I've held so long_

_(Erase all the pain 'til it's gone)_

She broke away from him and ran in the other direction, funeral dress whipping behind her. She then ran into a young light brown-haired girl.

"Buffy? You're alive?" the youth squeaked as she hugged her.

More memories came back to her about this girl, memories of them fighting and hugging, talking to an older woman who must be their mother; she must be my sister. She scrolled through her memories again, trying to remember her name, "Dawn?"

In answer to her question, the girl hugged her even tighter.

_I want to heal_

_I want to feel_

_Like I'm close to something real_

_I want to find something I've wanted all along_

_Somewhere I belong_

She untangled herself from Dawn and backed away.

"Buffy? What's wrong?" Dawn asked, concerned and confused.

There was that word again, 'Buffy'. Why do they keep calling me 'Buffy'? She turned and ran away yet again. She ran into an alley where hellish looking men were attacking a group of people who also seemed familiar. She ignored them proceeded to beat up the demons. When they were all either dead or gone, she turned back to the group.

"Buffy?" the red haired one asked, approaching her cautiously. "I think it worked guys." She addressed the people behind her.

Almost immediately memories came back to her of these people, the things they had done through together. Her name was Willow. And the others were Xander, Anya, and Tara.

_I will never know_

_Myself until I do this on my own_

_And I will never feel_

_Anything else until my wounds are healed_

She turned and ran at full speed away from them. She was Buffy. The girl everyone missed, the Slayer, the girl pulled out of heaven no doubt by her friends, the girl who saved the world, the girl who could never have love, never have a long normal life.

_I will never be_

_Anything 'til I break away from me_

_And I will break away_

_I'll find myself today_

She was so confused; she didn't realize that she had run straight into a demon biker meeting. There was a girl that looked just like her chained to various bikes. The next thing she knew the demons gunned their engines and roared off in different directions, tearing the Buffybot into pieces. She was so frightened by what she saw; she turned on her heel and ran.

_I want to heal_

_I want to feel_

_What I thought was never real_

_I want to let go of the pain I've held so long_

_(Erase all the pain 'til it's gone)_

She ran home and changed into clothes that didn't smell of her own decay. As soon as she had finished changing, she ran out of the house again, running, just running away......

_I want to heal_

_I want to feel_

_Like I'm close to something real_

_I want to find something I've wanted all along _

_Somewhere I belong_

When she looked at her surroundings, she realized that she was on the exact cliff that Angel had almost killed himself on. She looked down on the streets of Sunnydale, paying no attention to Spike who no doubt planned on stopping her. "Go away, Spike. I'm going back to where I belong."

"No, don't you dare..... I'm not going to watch you die again," he advanced toward her.....

_I want to heal_

_I want to feel like I'm_

_Somewhere I belong_

She walked toward the cliff's edge, prepared to jump.

_I want to heal_

_I want to feel like I'm_

_Somewhere I belong_

She stepped off the edge and began her descent.....

_Somewhere I belong_

Spike's hand shot out and grabbed her forearm.

"Spike, let me go," Buffy said calmly.

"No, you don't realize that you're not the only one with pain. You didn't have to see the one you love most die in front of you and not be able to do anything about it. You didn't lock yourself up for months on end trying to get over it. You didn't have to see her come back just to kill herself again," he shook his head as he started to pull her up.

She struggled, trying to fall back over the edge.

He ignored her kicking and screaming and pulled her over the edge back on the cliff. At the last tug, he pulled her into his embrace. He held her close to him.

She beat him in the chest with her fists, sobbing over and over, "I was in heaven...I was happy......now I'm back in hell....... I was dragged back down to flames and torture by my friends!"

He understood through all her sobs all of the pain she was feeling. She had gotten to experience pure happiness and contentment, only to have it taken away by the people she loved and trusted most. He rocked her gently just as he used to do for Dru when she was having one of her many nightmares. He understood now why Willow was constantly asking him to watch Dawn. He looked down to find her fast asleep. He just sat there with her curled up in his arms. He shifted into gameface. Willow was going to pay.


End file.
